FATHER PAINTED THE PARLOR
Our parlor wanted paperin,
And Pa says it was waste
To call a paperhanger in
And so he made some paste
He bought some rolls of paper
Got a ladder and a brush
And with my mummy's nightgown on
At it he made a rush
refrein: When Father papered the parlour
You couldn't see him for paste
Dabbing it here! dabbing it there!
Paste and paper everywhere
Mother was stuck to the ceiling
The children stuck to the floor
I never knew a blooming family
So 'stuck up' before
The pattern was 'blue roses'
with its leaves red, white, and brown
He'd stuck it wrong way up and now
we all walk upside down.
And when he trimm'd the edging
off the paper with the shears
The cat got underneath it
and dad cut off its ears
refrein
Soon dad fell down the stairs
and dropp'd his paperhanger's can
On little Henrietta sitting there
with her young man
The paste stuck them together,
as we thought t'would be for life
We had to fetch the parson in
to make them man and wife
refrein
We're never going to move away
from that house any more
For Father's gone and stuck the chairs
and table to the floor
We can't find our piano
though it's broad and rather tall
We think that it's behind the paper
Pa stuck on the wall
refrein
Now, Father's sticking in the pub
through treading in the paste
And all the family's so upse,
they've all gone pasty faced
While Pa says, now that Ma has spread
the news from north to south
He wishes he had dropped a blob
of paste in Mother's mouth
refrein
